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Thursday, June 20, 2013
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Another Question about Beauty
i love this blog a lot. i really needed it today.
but what if we can't think of anything we really like about ourselves? i mean, i know that i can't think of anything. the one thing people always compliment me for is something i don't like. i am not pretty and i can't find any any talents that i have... i know god made all of us the way we are for a reason, but i still haven't found anything about worth while. help me?
Dear jesus_loves_me,
If you were to tell me who you are, I'm sure that I could tell you a ton of things that are beautiful about yourself. But like I said in the previous blog- thats not really the point. Its not as important for other people to affirm your beauty as it is for you find yourself beautiful.
So, my response to you is hit your knees and pray. Tell God exactly how you feel about yourself- your likes, dislikes, insecurities, everything!!! And tell him just like you would tell me or best friend or someone like that. Then simply ask God to help you see what is beautiful about yourself. And the amazing part is- that He will. But the next step is very important. After you pray, you have to keep you eyes open. Make sure you are expecting an answer and accepting of the answer when it comes. What does this mean?
For example, the other day I was feeling a little insecure about whether or not I was doing a good job as an intern. I prayed that I would find affirmation from God and that it would give me a little confidence boost so that my thoughts would be focused on you guys instead of my own insecurities. And later that day I had a parent approach me and tell me that her kid is really enjoying youth group this summer and us as interns. I didn't realize it until a little bit later but that little comment made me feel so much better- and I realized that it was God answering my prayer.
God will not send you an email to tell you that you are beautiful or an IM or anything. But He will for sure answer your prayer to help you overcome your insecurities and see yourself in a new light. I can quote scripture to you all day long and give you a list of how beautiful I think you are. But until you talk to God and let him show why He thinks you are beautiful, you will never find the satisfaction of true beauty. Just make sure that when you do talk to Him, you keep your heart and your mind wide open because God will transcend all possibilities you can imagine. So give Him that freedom!!
but what if we can't think of anything we really like about ourselves? i mean, i know that i can't think of anything. the one thing people always compliment me for is something i don't like. i am not pretty and i can't find any any talents that i have... i know god made all of us the way we are for a reason, but i still haven't found anything about worth while. help me?
Dear jesus_loves_me,
If you were to tell me who you are, I'm sure that I could tell you a ton of things that are beautiful about yourself. But like I said in the previous blog- thats not really the point. Its not as important for other people to affirm your beauty as it is for you find yourself beautiful.
So, my response to you is hit your knees and pray. Tell God exactly how you feel about yourself- your likes, dislikes, insecurities, everything!!! And tell him just like you would tell me or best friend or someone like that. Then simply ask God to help you see what is beautiful about yourself. And the amazing part is- that He will. But the next step is very important. After you pray, you have to keep you eyes open. Make sure you are expecting an answer and accepting of the answer when it comes. What does this mean?
For example, the other day I was feeling a little insecure about whether or not I was doing a good job as an intern. I prayed that I would find affirmation from God and that it would give me a little confidence boost so that my thoughts would be focused on you guys instead of my own insecurities. And later that day I had a parent approach me and tell me that her kid is really enjoying youth group this summer and us as interns. I didn't realize it until a little bit later but that little comment made me feel so much better- and I realized that it was God answering my prayer.
God will not send you an email to tell you that you are beautiful or an IM or anything. But He will for sure answer your prayer to help you overcome your insecurities and see yourself in a new light. I can quote scripture to you all day long and give you a list of how beautiful I think you are. But until you talk to God and let him show why He thinks you are beautiful, you will never find the satisfaction of true beauty. Just make sure that when you do talk to Him, you keep your heart and your mind wide open because God will transcend all possibilities you can imagine. So give Him that freedom!!
Outward Beauty verse Inward Beauty
Question:
So i know we all agree that beauty is what lies behind the pretty face
but i mean what about outer beauty. i love the idea of getting ready and
looking good and like the compliments. is there a place for our outer
beauty in this idea of the truth of beauty or is it purely what lies
beneath?
Answer: Okay girls, this has been a question that was on a notecard and has been repeated again on the blog. So I'm going to start with this one. This is a really good question because in church so often we talk about denying ourselves of this world and not being of the things that this world offers. However, I agree with you. I love getting dressed up to go out on a date or even just to church. And there is something about putting on makeup that just gives you a little boost of confidence. So is it okay to appreciate our outward beauty as well?
The answer is a resounding YES! Not to sound too churchy but think about the beautiful world God has given us. I live in Malibu and when you are standing looking at the ocean in Malibu there is no way you can't believe that there isn't a God. God created beautiful things to show us His existence. So absolutely yes, its great to appreciate outer beauty. Especially in women, we are God's beauty incarnate and it is one of our innermost desires to share our beauty with the world.
However, the important thing to remember when considering outward beauty is learning how to be happy with yourself. Its learning how to be satisfied and see beauty when you look in the mirror instead of longing for someone else's beauty. Let me explain. Outward beauty is appreciating the good things about yourself and your appearance, instead of constantly finding things that you don't like about yourself. That's how it ties into the truth of real beauty. Its not about makeup and good hair and pretty dresses (although those are all great things to enjoy), but the truth is learning to be happy with who you are and seeing the beauty of God in the way you look.
Every girl has a problem with the way she looks. You will be hard pressed, especially in American culture, to find a woman who doesn't think that she is too fat or too skinny or too this or too that. I could probably give you a list of things that I wish I could change about myself. Especially in middle school and high school- it is so hard not to compare yourself with other girls that seem to you prettier or skinnier or better hair or you name it. So the real beauty comes in a girl who can appreciate her outward beauty as well as her inner beauty. A girl who can look in the mirror and be pleased with how God has created her.
And in addition to that, when you find that peace and freedom in God of learning to love who you are on the inside it will shine through to the outside. And it is your job as young women to help each other learn how to love yourselves inside and out.
So my challenge to you with this question is to stop comparing yourselves to each other and wishing you looked like someone else- because that only results in envy and jealousy. Instead, learn to love who you are inside and out, appreciating all aspects of beauty and teach someone else how to love themselves the same way. Then, we can start truly seeing who God is by focusing on His image in other people. Praise God with your beauty and help the world see God by the way you appreciate your beauty.
I hope this helps! If you have any other questions or would like to discuss this further leave a comment and I will try to better explain myself :)
Psalm 139:13-18
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
Answer: Okay girls, this has been a question that was on a notecard and has been repeated again on the blog. So I'm going to start with this one. This is a really good question because in church so often we talk about denying ourselves of this world and not being of the things that this world offers. However, I agree with you. I love getting dressed up to go out on a date or even just to church. And there is something about putting on makeup that just gives you a little boost of confidence. So is it okay to appreciate our outward beauty as well?
The answer is a resounding YES! Not to sound too churchy but think about the beautiful world God has given us. I live in Malibu and when you are standing looking at the ocean in Malibu there is no way you can't believe that there isn't a God. God created beautiful things to show us His existence. So absolutely yes, its great to appreciate outer beauty. Especially in women, we are God's beauty incarnate and it is one of our innermost desires to share our beauty with the world.
However, the important thing to remember when considering outward beauty is learning how to be happy with yourself. Its learning how to be satisfied and see beauty when you look in the mirror instead of longing for someone else's beauty. Let me explain. Outward beauty is appreciating the good things about yourself and your appearance, instead of constantly finding things that you don't like about yourself. That's how it ties into the truth of real beauty. Its not about makeup and good hair and pretty dresses (although those are all great things to enjoy), but the truth is learning to be happy with who you are and seeing the beauty of God in the way you look.
Every girl has a problem with the way she looks. You will be hard pressed, especially in American culture, to find a woman who doesn't think that she is too fat or too skinny or too this or too that. I could probably give you a list of things that I wish I could change about myself. Especially in middle school and high school- it is so hard not to compare yourself with other girls that seem to you prettier or skinnier or better hair or you name it. So the real beauty comes in a girl who can appreciate her outward beauty as well as her inner beauty. A girl who can look in the mirror and be pleased with how God has created her.
And in addition to that, when you find that peace and freedom in God of learning to love who you are on the inside it will shine through to the outside. And it is your job as young women to help each other learn how to love yourselves inside and out.
So my challenge to you with this question is to stop comparing yourselves to each other and wishing you looked like someone else- because that only results in envy and jealousy. Instead, learn to love who you are inside and out, appreciating all aspects of beauty and teach someone else how to love themselves the same way. Then, we can start truly seeing who God is by focusing on His image in other people. Praise God with your beauty and help the world see God by the way you appreciate your beauty.
I hope this helps! If you have any other questions or would like to discuss this further leave a comment and I will try to better explain myself :)
Psalm 139:13-18
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
Toxic Friends
Dear Krista, I have a problem and I need to know what to do. HELP?
Last year I had this friend, and due to her actions as well as mine, I decided to stop being her friend and stop talking to her for many reasons. Now, come the new year, we sat next to each other in choir for 2 days and she started talking to me again and we became friends. Now that I have seen how she uses me (hangs out with me until other people come around) then I might as well be invisible. What should I do? Stop talking to her, and hang out with others instead? Or just do what I have been doing and sit there and listen to the conversations she;s having with other people?
HELP PLEASE♥
If this is still helpful- what I would do is continue being friends with but be casual friends with her. You don't have to be best friends in order to be nice. You can talk to her in class and say "Hi!" in the hallways, etc. But I wouldn't hang out without her outside of that. This shouldn't be offensive to her and will still protect your heart. In the Bible, the example that we see from Jesus is that he still loved people despite what they did to Him but those people weren't the ones he was closest to. His best friends were the ones who stood by Him and defended Him. So think about that example of friendship.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1
Last year I had this friend, and due to her actions as well as mine, I decided to stop being her friend and stop talking to her for many reasons. Now, come the new year, we sat next to each other in choir for 2 days and she started talking to me again and we became friends. Now that I have seen how she uses me (hangs out with me until other people come around) then I might as well be invisible. What should I do? Stop talking to her, and hang out with others instead? Or just do what I have been doing and sit there and listen to the conversations she;s having with other people?
HELP PLEASE♥
If this is still helpful- what I would do is continue being friends with but be casual friends with her. You don't have to be best friends in order to be nice. You can talk to her in class and say "Hi!" in the hallways, etc. But I wouldn't hang out without her outside of that. This shouldn't be offensive to her and will still protect your heart. In the Bible, the example that we see from Jesus is that he still loved people despite what they did to Him but those people weren't the ones he was closest to. His best friends were the ones who stood by Him and defended Him. So think about that example of friendship.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1
Being an individual verse wanting to fit in!
Question: Why do people say they're
going to be an individual but then they try their best to fit in and
become something totally opposite?
Answer: Have you ever seen High School Musical? You know that song called "Status Quo". Here's a few of the lyrics:
Zeke: You can bet There's nothin' but net When I am in a zone and on a roll But I've got a confession My own secret obsession And it's making me lose control
Jocks: Everybody gather 'round
Zeke(spoken): Well if Troy can tell his secret than I can tell mine...I bake
Jock(spoken): What?
Zeke(spoken): I love to bake! Strudels, scones, even apple pandowdy
Jocks: Not another sound Zeke(spoken): Someday I hope to make the perfect creme brulee Jocks: No, no, no, nooooooooooo No, no, no Stick to the stuff you know If you wanna be cool Follow one simple rule Don't mess with the flow, no no Stick to the status quo
"We forfeit three-forths of ourselves in order to be like other people."
Arthur Schopenhauer
Think about yourself. How do you react to wanting to be an individual versus wanting to be liked? I could go into a lot of communications theories with this that tells you exactly why we act the way we do. But here's the bottom line. We define our "self" internally and externally. Internally we define ourselves by who we want to be. Externally we define ourselves socially by who we interact with. So basically who you are is a combination of you and the people in your life that you surround yourself with. So this explains why its so important to us, as people to be accepted by the social groups that we are a part of. This is also why its important that we surround ourselves with the right kind of people that are going to help us create and good definition of ourselves. So knowing all of this consider that when you are a baby, you are defined mostly by your parents. But as you get older you begin to discover the rest of the world. That is the period that most of you are at. You are discovering what else and who else is out there. This can be really disconcerting at times, which results in uncertainty and insecurity. And since each person is trying to figure out who they are its really difficult to help other people to figure out who they are. How can I be defining someone else if I don't even know who I am? Therefore, this results in the need to be and individual but also the need to fit in, which sometimes looks like two things that are opposite of each other. How can you be both? But the truth is that you need both. The truth is that you are made up of both.
So in considering this, how can we affirm people in the individuality? How can we encourage who they are on the inside so that they feel more confident in social settings? How can we make people feel like they can be individual and still fit in?
Answer: Have you ever seen High School Musical? You know that song called "Status Quo". Here's a few of the lyrics:
Zeke: You can bet There's nothin' but net When I am in a zone and on a roll But I've got a confession My own secret obsession And it's making me lose control
Jocks: Everybody gather 'round
Zeke(spoken): Well if Troy can tell his secret than I can tell mine...I bake
Jock(spoken): What?
Zeke(spoken): I love to bake! Strudels, scones, even apple pandowdy
Jocks: Not another sound Zeke(spoken): Someday I hope to make the perfect creme brulee Jocks: No, no, no, nooooooooooo No, no, no Stick to the stuff you know If you wanna be cool Follow one simple rule Don't mess with the flow, no no Stick to the status quo
"We forfeit three-forths of ourselves in order to be like other people."
Arthur Schopenhauer
Think about yourself. How do you react to wanting to be an individual versus wanting to be liked? I could go into a lot of communications theories with this that tells you exactly why we act the way we do. But here's the bottom line. We define our "self" internally and externally. Internally we define ourselves by who we want to be. Externally we define ourselves socially by who we interact with. So basically who you are is a combination of you and the people in your life that you surround yourself with. So this explains why its so important to us, as people to be accepted by the social groups that we are a part of. This is also why its important that we surround ourselves with the right kind of people that are going to help us create and good definition of ourselves. So knowing all of this consider that when you are a baby, you are defined mostly by your parents. But as you get older you begin to discover the rest of the world. That is the period that most of you are at. You are discovering what else and who else is out there. This can be really disconcerting at times, which results in uncertainty and insecurity. And since each person is trying to figure out who they are its really difficult to help other people to figure out who they are. How can I be defining someone else if I don't even know who I am? Therefore, this results in the need to be and individual but also the need to fit in, which sometimes looks like two things that are opposite of each other. How can you be both? But the truth is that you need both. The truth is that you are made up of both.
So in considering this, how can we affirm people in the individuality? How can we encourage who they are on the inside so that they feel more confident in social settings? How can we make people feel like they can be individual and still fit in?
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